Far away from my ex

It has been a long time ago since the day I was far away from the one who brutally broke up with me. Now I have been living in the U.S for one year and I wonder what happened to my ex. There's a lot of questions in my mind. One of them I could not answer is that if I still love my ex and how he could broke up and made me sad in tears.


Sometimes, I wanted to smack my ex to release the angry in my heart. However, when I revenged him in that way, it just made my heart more heart hurtful and burdensome.

In the end, everything about him is just a sad memory that I even do not want to mentioned. I wonder what if I do not go on that date with him, what will happen? I promise myself that I will let everything go. Even if he comes back to me and begs me to get back to me, I will never ever accepts the person who made me have a hard time in tears.

Great Professor!

When I started college, I had many difficulties since I was not born here; however, I tried to find information in the Internet and ask people so actually my difficulties are still okay.

Starting is great. The first class I was taking was a writing class. For me, at that time, I was so stressful with writing. I could not understand how I could write a two-page essay. The first class I enrolled was the class of Professor Yellow. She made me goosebumps. In the first day of me and the second day of class, she gave me an in-class writing about my experience for writing and reading. I got stuck and hard times during that class.

After I finished hard hours writing in that class, I realized that I should dropped class of Professor Yellow. I had a difficult to make a decision. Finally, I dropped that stressful class. I surfed the college's website and tried to find other composition classes of other professors. Right after I got out of that class, I immediately took action. I realized that there was still one spot for class of Professor Friendly who was a famous professor among students who wanted to take his class to improve their writing skills.

As far as I knew, class of Professor Friendly was the free-stressful class. When I went to his class, he was very very friendly to every student. He was ready to help his students in the office students. He smiled to students and he did not mind that students called him by his first name.

For class of Professor Friendly, it helped me a lot. It made me change into a girl who was afraid to write and now I have become more inspirational and creative with writing. I feel so thankful and lucky to study in the class of Professor Friendly.

Finally, I don't know if Professor Friendly accidentally read my blog or not, I hope that he would have the wonderful time with his family.

One Surprising Thing

Today is the Christmas day that every kids come to home to open their own gift. And one thing I realized tonight when I was in my aunt's home is someone who resembles my ex that hurt me a lot.
Actually I met him this time twice. At the first time I had met I hadn't realized he resembles my ex. Now I realized. Why did God make me realize this?

I have to be far away from that man as far as possible. >.<

When I saw him who resembles my ex, I thought about all the memories about my ex that made my heart hurt a lot. I don't want to love someone because he resembles the ex that I used to love the ex a lot. I don't want just because I don't want to hurt that person at all.

But If he made my heart flutter. If he were my destiny, I wouldn't hesitate to love him at all

One more thing I realized a bout him that he is a nephew of my uncle who is the husband of my aunt that is  the sister of my mother so he's not my flesh and blood. He's a stranger to me. He's not my cousin. That makes me relieved.


Whatever just let it go. I love him? He loves me? I want the future answer this answer

Weird aunts who is the younger sisters of my father

  I used to have a difficult time to face and live with my aunts who were always talking behind my back that really made me tired, dizzy, headache, stressed, tense, and uncomfortable. And a lot of comfortable feeling that I couldn't feel. Also, I couldn't talk, confide, and smile with them like an usual niece who is often chatting, confiding, and going shopping with their nieces. Because whatever I did and i do is just a disaster in their mind.

I used to think that some of my aunts who is very reliable. Until now when I think about them that make me feel disgusted. I trust them. I used to tell them about my dream to be a nurse was just to destroy my dream. That was an embarrassing moment in my life. How ghastly they could be!

A lot of things that they made me feel terrible so that I couldn't tell all of them. But they are very macabre. Those moments happened in California which I lived last month.

1. My aunt who guaranteed my parents and me often talking behind my back when I live in her house. The first incident is taking a shower. She talked behind my back with another aunt, that I talked a shower too long. I felt hurt because the hostess didn't say that directly with me. She talked about that problem behind my back with her little sister who is also my aunt who talked to me just like kidding. And that way made me embarrassed a lot. 

2. My aunt who is always looking me in with an evil side. Even if I made a little iced white coffee, she found my mistake and talked with her little sister who is recently sick, often hospitalized for the sake of what she did. She found mistakes of people and talked about it just like a hobby, just for fun. Also my older female cousin is a victim of talking behind back. 

My aunt, whom I talked that she is recently sick and hospitalized, is a very odd person. She's also the one who destroyed my nurse dream.  She used to treat me well, bought me food and clothes. But all of the things she treated me well is just a mask of her talking-behind-back habit. She said that her daughter studied in the medical field that her daughter didn't like it. And she applied that to me. For that reason, she became my unfavourite aunt who had her fake face. She could talk to you normally and later she talked behind my back.

Now I left California. But when I thought about that place is all sad memories. My aunts are really making that city become dirty. I think I don't want to come back to there to visit them. If I come back to there one dau, I wouldn't visit them just consider them like strangers. 

My simple dream about destiny

Whenever I'm listening to Girls' Generation's song, I wish I could have a boyfriend to enjoy that wonderful happy feeling. For that reason, who makes me thing about that would be the person I like or love and it really happened. Even it happened in the bad way that I don't want to remember about it.
It was my university time before I moved to US. It used to a good time but a couple of weeks later it become worst ever in my life, broken heart. It's a bad experience ever ever in my life.
In that time, at night I couldn't sleep at night so it's a worst nightmare for me.
Imagining that time is really terrible but luckily it passes. Day by day I keep awaiting my destiny who  can take care me the rest of my life